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Dear Caring Friend

Being single is not synonymous with loneliness. I am not lonely and I am not looking for a man to fill any voids in my spirit or my body. As my friend, you should know that I have standards and that I am not falling at the feet of every man who says I’m pretty or bounces his hand against my curls. Just because I flirt does not mean I want to have sex and just because I have sex does not mean I am desperate for a relationship. Take a step back. please stop setting me up with guys. Stop looking for sparks. You should want the things for me that I want for me. If you don’t know what I want for me then you aren’t trying hard enough to know me. Please stop suggesting things and people to me. I need your standards to be higher than mine. I need you to say my friend deserves the most amazing kiss or the most passionate sex or the most romantic life and so anyone who so much as puckers his lips in my direction is probably wasting his time. I only ask this because I do it for you. You deserve so much better than you think you do. you deserve so much more than you have. I am only wary of your partner because I care about your heart not because I’m jealous or pining for one myself. You being in a relationship is not a sad reminder that I’m not in one. I am learning who I am. I am learning what I want. I need you to learn with me. It’s awkward when you push me to talk to guys you think are interested and then leave me to have to gently let them down. Some guys don’t know how to receive rejection without feeling insulted and you pushing me to talk to someone with the hopes that we might fall in love and live happily ever after not only puts my heart in danger, it puts my life in danger too. I need you to be my protector. My knight. My brave. Sometimes I can’t make the right decisions and I need you to step in. Please don’t say to me that your wanting to find me a boyfriend is only because you’re worried or you care or you don’t want me to be lonely. I am the strongest I’ve been in years. I am happy and independent and doing things without having to ask for permission. I am flirting with life and you’re smothering me with your misplaced concern.

Please. I love you.

Megan C Lucas