Today marks the end of the beginning of the second half of the year. I have not had a decent night’s sleep all month. I haven’t spoken to most of my closest friends. I have slipped in and out of what the world would call depression but I somehow don’t think it was that severe. At times I found myself lying numbly on the hardwood floor, just thinking things. Other times I was completely indifferent to life and I figured if it ended at that very moment, I wouldn’t have minded. They say when you’re annoyed, everything and everyone becomes annoying no matter they do and I found this to be undeniably true. I couldn’t stand to be around anyone for too long. I am so glad that is over. I think it was the moon or the cosmos but whatever it was I hope it doesn’t come back.
When Eliot spoke about April being the cruelest month he was definitely speaking about the season because July seems to be the April of the southern hemisphere, almost. I used to love winter, now I just want it to be over. July has been a decent month for words. I am currently reading The Cedar House Rules by John Irving, I have written a bunch and I have had two amazing book ideas that need to become a reality.
I can’t be entirely mad at July for being such a terrible host and I should be saying thank you for just being but I am definitely glad to see July on her way and welcome a warmer August with better sleep and more smiles and conversations (hopefully)